2017 was a scary year. From getting an IUD, to traveling solo to 3 countries for nearly 3 months, to getting a mastectomy, these scary moments taught me to make the most of each situation. Here’s a breakdown of the year by month and what I learned from each.
I learned that it is possible to miss a flight and not get your money back. I had bought a one-way ticket from Seattle to Cape Town through Gotogate.com for about $600, which had seemed too good to be true. On the day of my flight, I had to drive from Moses Lake, WA to the Seattle airport (a 3 hour drive). It turned out that massive amounts of snow, freezing rain, and ice would shut down the highway. I drove my blue Subaru Outback the roundabout way for about 7 hours straight, and I still missed my flight. Gotogate.com refused to put me on another flight. Needless to say, I’m never doing business with them again.
That night, I booked a ticket to DC instead, and moved there. Shout out to my Wellesley fam for hosting me for months while I job searched! Oh, and while moving to DC on inauguration was not fun, the Women’s March made it all worth it.
I learned that getting the types of jobs I am qualified for on paper without a master’s degree in DC is ROUGH. Almost everyone I know here has a master’s, and while I often made it to the final rounds of interviews, I was told I didn’t get several jobs various recruiters simply because the other candidates had master’s degrees and I didn’t. This is why I’ve started studying for the GRE and I plan to take it by February. It’s something concrete that I feel like I’ve needed to work on.
Meanwhile, I applied to work as a bike tour guide for DC Bike and Roll. After having been on a Bogota Graffiti Tour last year, I was inspired to become a tour guide. I had just moved to DC and I became Bike and Roll’s first hire of the year.
I learned that the cherry blossoms were scheduled to bloom the first week of April, but that they would bloom around Mid March this year. I also learned that taking three bike tours in one day through the cherry blossom festival was just about as stressful as a day of teaching (shout out to all the teachers for doing what I couldn’t do for very long).
I learned that Facebook can be life changing and that the best meal of my life was in China. A friend had tagged me in a Facebook post asking for someone to go on a last-minute work trip to recruit high schoolers to enroll in American schools, and I sent in my resume. Before I knew it, I was lining up at the Chinese consulate in DC at 7:30 AM, applying for a rush visa, and getting a 10-year visa with a glowing Great Wall of China stamped into my passport.
The only other Asian country I’d visited was Japan in 2013, so I was excited to go some place new. This was also the first time that I’d be flown to a different country for work. Boy, did we fly. We went to four different cities in a week, but it was still unforgettable.
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Just made it back to JFK Airport after a week in four cities in China! It was such a last minute trip and I'm so grateful to have been given this opportunity. I may have missed my flight to South Africa in January, but life gave me another amazing trip just a few months later. This adventure reminded me of the rewards that come with saying "yes."
I learned that it is possible to still feel like a woman but to feel gender dysphoria in the sense of no longer wanting breasts. In 2011, when I was studying abroad in France, a doctor had even signed off on my breast reduction. I wasn’t quite ready to undergo the process yet, so I tabled that desire. In DC, where I felt comfortable exploring my dysphoria again, I began seeing a therapist, my primary care physician, and a breast surgeon. Initially I had just gone in for a reduction, but deep down I felt that I wanted a mastectomy, but that society wouldn’t be ready for it. Then, after speaking with a friend who had undergone top surgery, I knew it was something I wanted to do. I don’t need to ask society’s permission.
I also began a full time job, which taught me that it takes a LONG time to plan trips in advance. I also learned about the wonders of nitro coffee, which my workplace supplied on tap.
I learned that the Wellesley College reunion, which only lasts 3 days, needs to last 3 weeks. Before going, I was scared that everyone would be asking me about my ten-year plan. That was not the case.
I saw so many people I hadn’t seen in five years that I wished I really had more time with them. When I did catch up with the amazing people at this predominantly women’s college, I also realized how grateful I was to be in a place where people would look me in the eye while talking to me, and they would focus on the ideas I was saying instead of focusing on how I looked or what I was wearing. It was so nice to be around such amazing people and to not worry nearly as much as I thought I would about explaining where I was in my career.
I learned that getting an IUD to control my periods is something I should have done ten years ago. Yes, it was an uncomfortable process, but the pain of one hour was nothing compared to the accumulated pain of having periods. While getting heavy periods was a motivator, I was also motivated to get one before this presidency makes it illegal to do so. By now, my periods are super light and much more manageable.
Also, since I don’t had a photo of the IUD, I’ll add one and a fun fact I learned about myself: Whenever I have friends visit, I always want to get a diet coke with them (caffeine free, please, because I am actually a 99-year-old woman who cannot afford feeling heart palpitations in the afternoon).
I learned what all the buzz was about with solar eclipses. Once I saw the magic in the Pacific Northwestern Sky I grew up under, even if for two brief minutes, I stopped assuming eclipses were just something privileged white people make a big deal about.
I learned that anything really can change in an instant. On September 1st, being the confident Virgo that I am, I wrote on Facebook: “It’s virgoing to be a great month.” Minutes later, I was laid off. I packed up my Wellesley Poster and newly purchased succulent plant from Trader Joe’s, and took an Uber from my office. I was in shock, then denial, then felt relieved. Something told me this was my second chance to go to South Africa. I decided I’d leave for 2.5 months, so I subletted my room for exactly that amount of time, and bought another one-way ticket, this time from DC to Victoria Falls, Zimbabwe.
On September 15th, I was flying on Ethiopian airlines with a row of seats entirely to myself, and surrounded by Ethiopian families chatting happily. I made it to Victoria Falls, and my Zimbabwean roommate in DC, Anesu, set me up with some friends in Vic Falls who picked me up from the airport. I ended up Couchsurfing with a man named Martin who is no stranger to Couchsurfing and I appreciate him putting me up for nearly a week.
A few days later, I ended up walking across the nearby border to Zambia to save money on my only outdoor activity in the country, and still paying over $100 to swim at The Devil’s Pool, a small natural pool at the top of Victoria Falls. While I didn’t go on a safari after paying this much to jump in a pool of water, I have no regrets. That was one of the proudest, most exhilarating moments of my life! I’ll never forget looking over at the other side of the falls and seeing the hundreds of little waterfalls that had formed from the falls’ spray. I heard them singing to me and I teared up.
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Swimming at the edge of Victoria Falls was surreal. I teared up as I looked across and down the waterfall. Through the mist you could see dozens of mini waterfalls trickling down, each in their own world. Our guide, David, was great. He kept us safe and took us to several viewing points. This, along with the total solar eclipse, has been the most memorable experience I've had with Mother Nature this year.
I learned that I would finally make it to South Africa after the third try (Oh yes! I had applied to research Art Therapy in Cape Town through the Fulbright program but was rejected in 2015), and that being there was just what I needed to learn about its complex history.
Speaking of history, in you’re ever in South Africa, please don’t just go to Cape Town. If you have time, Johannesburg is worth a visit. The Apartheid Museum was one of my favorites, and tells a story that everyone should learn about. The fact that Nelson Mandela was in prison for as long as I’ve been alive (27 years) is still something I still struggle to wrap my head around. He was an incredible leader.
Anyway, Cape Town really is as stunning as everyone says it is. The views from Table Mountain are incredible, but the hike itself was not. I wish I’d taken my time on the hike up. The “trail” consists of rocks I spend over two hours climbing up. It’s not a pleasant, leisurely hike. Shortly after hiking Table Mountain, I found out that my Medicaid approved me for getting my mastectomy, and I booked my surgery date for December 15th. At the end of October, I also booked my one-way ticket to Rio de Janeiro.
I learned that getting my Mexican passport in September was the best decision I’d made in order to avoid the visa process and fees that U.S. citizens deal with when they go to Brazil. In September, I didn’t know I’d be traveling to Brazil, but it wouldn’t hurt to get a Mexican Passport just in case.
As a kid, I’d always wanted to see South Africa, Brazil, and Russia. Since I’d made part of my childhood dreams come true, why not keep going? I had the money I’d saved from riding my bike and cooking consistently over the years, so the money was the only thing stopping me.
I ended up staying in Rio, Belo Horizonte, and Salvador, all big cities and all very different from one another.
Geographically, Rio is the prettiest city I’ve ever laid eyes on. Belo Horizonte was covered in street art and was the easiest city to find hosts in (I ended up staying with 4 different hosts). Salvador radiated with a sense of black power that I wish all of my friends, especially my black friends, could see.
I was in Salvador during the month of black consciousness, so my Couchsurfing host, Claudiane, took me to a march and a concert, where I was easily the whitest person there, but it wasn’t about me. Not at all. I felt welcome the entire time I was there. Thank you, Claudiane, for hosting me. Thank you for showing me the photo of you with your graduating class. I assumed all of your classmates were black, since most of the people in the city are black, but once I saw your photo, you were the only black woman in a class of about 50. You’re an inspiration.
Last, I already new that people don’t want to others to assume things about them, but appreciated the time my host brother reminded me of how much he wants others to know Brazil for more than just beaches and Carnival.
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My 13-year-old @couchsurfing host brother: “It annoys me that all Americans think Brazil is, is futbol and Carnival.” Me:”That’s why I show people pictures of where I go and what I’m doing. To show them there’s so much more than that here. What would you tell Americans about Brazil?” Him: “Yes, Rio is pretty, but we also have so much more than that here.” Me: “Don’t worry, I’ll tell them. I’ll also tell them that they put coconuts on plates in restaurants here. We don’t do that back home.”
I learned how difficult it would have been to recover from surgery without the support of my amazing friends. Having friends show up and put straws in my drinks, or take out the trash because my t-rex arms can’t handle it yet, has made a world of a difference during my recovery process.
I’m excited to be able to work out again. I still cannot lift much at all, so walking is as much activity as my body can handle right now. It still feels strange to walk around without a bra. I’m barely two weeks post-op, but I’m excited for what’s to come. I’m excited to go on a run without a bra, to buy new clothes, and to never have to go bra shopping ever again.
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It’s done! Shout out to Amy Huang for signing me out, taking me home, and making sure I have food and things at waist length so I can reach them. I appreciate it. The only thing I’ll miss about having boobs is being able to hide my credit card and cell phone in a bra at the club, but other than that, it was such a relief to no longer feel the instinctive need to hunch over when I look in the mirror. The dysphoria was real and has affected my posture over the years. I remember going for a night run on the National Mall and not wearing a shirt over my sports bra. I was imagining what it would feel like to run without a bra, and I remember feeling so at peace with this idea. Doing this at night also helped me feel more free-like it was something I was testing out for myself and only for myself, much more free from the stares. I’m finally flat chested and am excited about the results! In the days leading up to the surgery, I was nervous and scared, but all of a sudden I began being hyper aware of what foods I’m putting in my body and I was taking care of my body more, and I was even more motivated to work out because I felt like I was getting ready to meet my new body. Thank you to everyone who has made their own posts about breast reductions and top surgeries. It’s thanks to you that this scary undertaking was normalized for me enough to pursue it. Thank you to everyone who has been checking in with me and for those who have been able to donate to my meal train while I am getting ready for the full time job search soon. She/her pronouns are still fine for now, but I say “for now” because I know things can change. When I first came out as a gay cisgender woman at 18 (aside from the days/weeks/months inside the travel closet), I thought I had myself figured out. Nearly ten years later, I’ve opened myself up to the possibility for change. Not being afraid of change is something I strive for now more than ever.
With that, I’ll leave you with one of my favorite quotes:
“I’ve been absolutely terrified every moment of my life and I’ve never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I wanted to do.”